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  1. #1
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    Barry
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    a couple of funnies



    I recently suggested to my wife that she try masturbating with fruit.

    She went fucking bananas.


    -----------------------------------

    I just opened my wheelie bin and a wasp flew out.

    What kind of sick fucker would throw a wasp in a bin?

    --------------------------------

    Are orphans allowed to watch PG movies?

    ---------------------------------

    80% of scousers said they prefer sex in the shower,
    The other 20% have not been to prison yet.

    --------------------------------------------

    They say the best medicine is laughter which is odd because my wife got breast cancer and I laughed at her, now she's had both tits removed and she's divorcing me. The irony of it all was she told me it's because she "has a lot on her chest".

    --------------------------

    Hitler was one of the most evil men in history.

    He ordered the mass genocide of 6 million Jews and was pretty much responsible for kicking off World War II.

    Although, on the plus side, if he hadn't have done all that there would be no Call of Duty: World at War

    -------------------------------

    Emile Heskey went on a large shooting spree in Birmingham...

    No-one was hit.

    --------------------------------

    I asked the assistant in JJB Sports what a cricket box was.

    Apparently it's a piece of cheap plastic which men put their genitals in.

    So, a bit like Katie Price then.

    ----------------------------------------------------

    Locals are said to be in a state of shock after Police found a stash of guns behind the library in Glasgow yesterday.

    A spokesman said, "The people of Glasgow had no idea they had a library."

    --------------------------------------

    I was having sex the other day, banging away, when suddenly I stopped mid-thrust and stood really still.

    "What are you doing?"

    "Something I learnt from online porn. It's called 'buffering'."

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  2. #2
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    Dai's Avatar
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    David Benson
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    Re: a couple of funnies



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    Big box but the hamster died..

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  4. #4
    The Dutch One
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    Wouter

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  5. #5
    Awesome Member
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    Conal Mundy

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